On the Downeaster Alexa…

I haven’t written in awhile. Sorry. I’m in a precarious position where I am flat broke and scrambling. I have to take odd jobs and take on projects and fix pools. I’ve painted houses, made cards for special occasions and for about 4 weeks I worked at a greenhouse. Then they let me go…

It was mental torture. The pay sucked and basically I hated it. But I went out of my way to be pleasant (was told I was rude,) worked my ass off (and kept getting looks like I wasn’t) and basically tried to be a model citizen. There was no sound in the greenhouse. Sometimes the fans kicked on and the silence was relieved for seconds at a time but honestly it was like being in a sensory deprivation tank. And I couldn’t find my MP3 Player.

I did however, remember all the words to ‘Downester Alexa.’  The song is sad and haunting and all about what it’s like when you’re an obsolete human being. He’s a fisherman in a land of no fish and he can’t do anything but what he knows; fishing. So I spent 4 weeks alone, with no sound, working my ass off and singing a song about loneliness. Ha, if anyone had worked with me, seen me or even heard me that might have been cause to get rid of me. Person A – “Tell her to stop singing that song, it’s sad.” Person B – “Let’s just fire her…” But nope. I saw someone at the beginning of the day and at the end..or if I saw the bosses they gave me looks as if I’d peed in their breakfast cereal. It was rough and frankly a relief to be fired.

On the writing side of things, after being fired, I edited 100 pages of my story ‘Life with Amy’ and only have about 20 pages left until I force one of my friends to read the whole damned thing and tell me if it sucks. Maybe I’ll write a story about a greenhouse employee that kills everyone next, as a way of putting my job in perspective… I know I will be spotty on here until I get regular employ. I should be working on a commission right now (3 gods on a field of blue in acrylics–) but I needed to update my playlist to include ‘Downester Alexa’ to remind me that I cannot work in a vacuum.

Feel free to comment with stories of crap jobs you’ve worked. I love being sympathetic and empathetic.



Did Some Writing This Week…

Been falling a bit behind in the writing. I had a huge bout of ‘no one is going to want to read this crap ever’ with the Doctor Who story. But luckily I got some fiverr gigs for writing. Then you see, I had no choice. Forced to be productive with it.

So this week I wrote a 5000 word modernization/reimagining of Oscar Wilde’s amazing Picture of Dorian Gray set in modern day London to impress a client’s lovely girlfriend. I wrote my heart out for him and assume he got lucky. Because the praise I got for the story made me feel like a writer again. Cheers!

After that I got a gig for a 1000 story about a mermaid. It was like everyone loved me. I had just finished reading Jackson Pearce’s brilliant Fathomless (I highly reccommend it!) Which is about…mermaids! The client loved it. My ego loved that he loved it and that led me to…

I am now rewriting/editing a story I wrote years ago about a grandmother/granddaughter reconnecting involving candles and witchcraft and other stuff… Back to chapter 2 of the Doctor Who book tomorrow. 

Really the break in writing stems back to a lack of confidence in my writing. Which is stupid. I know I’m a good writer. But I guess sometimes I forget. There are just loads of sites online that sap confidence with their speeches on how you will never be a famous author. Don’t be like me and read them. Because even if you call BS and move on to another advice page that crap sinks into your subconcious and delays your greatness.

Unless you write ‘your’ when you mean ‘you’re’ because come on!

Sitting in Pink Pony Makeup

My Halloween party is about an hour off. I’m hanging around watching reruns of Ink Master with super pink makeup on my face. I’m pretty excited to step into my My Little Pony Pants and be Firefly for a night. I loved her on My Little Pony. But all I got was one movie and then never again. I wish that psychotic new Friendship is Magic would have Firefly on. Come on Sandy Duncan… or Sandy Duncan sound alike, it’s time for Firefly to do the Double Inside Out Loop once more. Also it would be nice if the ponies fought things more than jealousy and an obvious addiction to crack.

Also, how come the new cartoons are all the same? At least the ones for girls… There is no Purple Pie Man of Porcupine Peak in the new Strawberry Shortcake. No Dark Heart or Cold Heart to defeat on CareBears and not a hint of a Catrina-esque character on the MLP Friendship is Magic. It’s a really strange world that has no enemies to fight, no people to representing good or bad. Just CareBears who seem to be extremely selfish and not showing anyone how to share (Sharing is caring…remember that?) Everyone likes an underdog… Can’t have one of those when everyone is “Good.” Well… not good. Just self involved.

Give me the Rainbow of Darkness any day, then at least Firefly could fight it with the Rainbow of light… Not 30 years of therapy.


Giant Spider, You are Dead But I am Still Scared.

I was straightening up the bed spread. The tag that goes at the bottom was on my side of the bed by the nightstand and the pillows had exploded off of the bed and onto the floor with my clothes from the day before. As I rounded the bed to fold the bedspread over attractively, I popped a pillow up onto the bed and screamed.

On the floor, curled up, was a fuzzy spider the size of a silver dollar.

I immediately called for help even though I was sure this spider was dead. But maybe he was a zombie spider, or a playing possum spider… Maybe he was waiting for me to get close enough to jump on my face and scar my psyche for life. Couldn’t take the chance. I made the boyfriend–who is also cleverly afraid of spiders–get it by shouting, “CUP!!! GET A CUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” It was very girly which I am not normally.

He arrived with two purple solo cups and scooped up the spider. He said it was dead. I’m not so sure… Even now it could be in the trash can… Working its way to the surface past the paper plates covered in pizza cheese and the bits of jalapeno & meat scraps…

I might have to move.

Welcome to the Junk Box that is My Mind…

Welcome to my latest attempt at a blog. I’ve been having some luck with my 1 fuzzy Monster Blog, so I figured why not go back to the randomness of a purposeless blog. This is where I will dump all the extra fluff that gets caught in my brain pan.

I‘m starting to think I might be reading too many stories. Not because reading isn’t awesome but because yesterday they pulled a friend of mine into the office–I have no idea why. Could have been asking them to go and get more pretzels from the Pretzel Factory, we do that a lot here–and immediately I start thinking it’s about me.

Not me specifically but me and this friend get together to bitch while he has a smoke. So obviously I thought someone had heard us talking and was on to us. I imagined tons of scenarios — most ending with me throwing a drink in a manager’s face Joan Collins Style and booking out of here to jump into a getaway vehicle– Because see it just had to be a big dramatic situation that made me both anxious and excited…like a good book. So either I am reading waaaaaaay too much or my job is waaaaaaaaaaaay duller than I think it is. (Psst & I think it’s pretty damned boring.)

Now I’m kind of sad… I really would like to quit a job by throwing a drink in someone’s face and scrambling into a getaway car… There’s still time. Just gotta leave a glass of something foul “science projecting” on my desk. Because when that opportunity arises I want to be able to  accidentally create a mutant nemesis that I can do battle with.