The Apple Thief’s Friend

The deer was not majestic.

Behind the chain link fence, the deer had his tongue out in a blep. He was scrawny and undignified. Lane eyeballed him and he stuck his tongue out at her before blinking. Lane, dressed in deer patterned leggings and an oversized sweater, held her white bucket tightly. It was loaded to the brim with gala apples.

“No,” she told him.

The deer tilted his head and licked the fence. Lane rolled her eyes at the deer. She pointed to the ‘no deer in the orchard sign.’ He was unimpressed and stomped a delicate hoofprint into the wet ground. Nose twitching, he tilted his head toward the gate.

Lane’s sister approached her with her own bucket brimming with Granny Smiths. “I’m going to make a pie and some turnovers before I let Mom turn the rest into apple butter or oooo jam! Whatcha doing?”

“Talking to this deer,” Lane told her sister.

Allison was in black leggings but her sweater was a smaller version of the one her sister wore. She did her hair in the same braids as Lane even though hers was cornsilk to Lane’s fawn-colored hair. They had the same green eyes but Allison was not one to talk to deer.

“Deer don’t have vocal cords,” she remarked.

It was just like Ally to be literal and factual and scientific. Lane ignored all of it and pointed to the deer who was still scrawny, still undignified, and still offering her an unobstructed view of his tongue. Lane huffed.

“He wants to get into the orchard,” Lane remarked as the deer bobbed his head as if in agreement. “I’ve told him deer aren’t allowed by indicating the sign.”

“Deer can’t read,” Allison countered.

“It’s a pictogram,” Lane argued. “See,” Lane said to the deer as she pointed to the cartoon version on the sign, “This is you, and this is no. Savvy?”

The deer stared. Blinked twice.

Allison shook her head. “I’m going to get some Winesaps too. You coming?”

“In a minute, I’m in the middle of something here,” Lane said.

Allison bounded away with her bucket of apples. Lane stared at the deer. The deer stared back.

“I’m not letting you in,” she told him.

He blepped.

“Seriously, you can’t come into the orchard, it’s not allowed,” Lane insisted.

The deer’s eyes went from hers to the gate and back again.

“No.”

The deer’s eyes went from hers to the gate and back again.

“No, stop.”

The deer’s eyes went from hers to the gate, paused, he pawed the ground, and looked back again.

Lane looked to the heavens. When she looked back, the deer was still there. The deer was still staring. He was still poking his tongue out at her adorably with his scrawny undignified person. Lane opened the gate, stepping back out of his way. He bowed.

“Yeah, you’re welcome. If anyone asks, I was never here.”

The deer slipped into the orchard and disappeared into the trees.

The End.

If this made you laugh, consider supporting me with a cup of coffee. Or some kind words… 🙂

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Princess

Claire yelped as her friend Dani’s bunny slipped out of the designated safe zone. Princess was too quick, too quiet and much too smart for Claire. Three days in and Princess was winning the dominance battle. “No, no, no! Bad bunny!!! Get out of there!”

Princess stood up from behind the sofa to eyeball Claire before slipping down and out of sight. Claire grabbed a broom and tried to guide the rabbit from behind the sofa and back into the safe zone. It kept catching on things that were hidden behind the sofa. Those things were not bunny proof and Claire imagined her nibbling through everything just to spite Claire.

The door banged open. A tall, thin woman with flat-ironed brown hair and stormy gray eyes. “Damn it, Dani, I thought you had that monster under control.”

Princess flew out from behind the sofa and back into her litter pan.

“You’re not Dani,” she said, stopping her forward momentum. “Better shut the door before she decides to zoom around.”

Offended, Princess pancaked inside her litter pan, ears flicking over her eyes. Claire walked over and locked the gate. Claire flopped down on the carpet in front of the cage. “Thanks, she’s been testing my limits since I got here.”

The girl crossed her arms and leaned against the doorjamb. “Princess is a perfect moniker for that little monster. She’s a good beastie but she likes to be in charge if you’re not Dani. I’m Misty.”

Claire thunked herself on the head. “Misty! Dani told me all about you. She ah, said you guys became friends because of that fluffy brown monster.”

“Yeah, we became friends in spite of Princess. I work nights, sleep days and Princess likes to toss her toys at the wall for hours. I live behind that wall,” Misty pointed a manicured finger at the wall behind the rabbit. “Dani’s cool. We bonded over an incident just like the one you seemed to be in the middle of. I turned up ready to rip Dani a new one.”

“Hey, I’m just following orders. The rabbit isn’t,” Claire said, holding her hands up in surrender.

“C’mon,” Misty said, offering Clair her hands. She accepted and let the taller girl pull her to her feet. Misty didn’t let go once she was standing. “I’ll show you how to shore up the defenses and you can buy me a coffee to thank me.”

Claire grinned. “Wow, Princess really knows how to make friends.”

“Yeah,” Misty agreed with a dark look at the rabbit who was now cleaning her ears adorably, “well, at least for me. I don’t think she’s won you over to her side.”

Claire grinned at the pretty girl in front of her. “Oh, I don’t know. She’s growing on me.”

The End.

I write tiny fics. Give me a prompt and I’ll write one for you. This one was inspired by the rabbit I am petsitting. She does like to bully me.

Buy me a coffee!